“It’s an odd experience to be unable to breathe. You can feel the wind from the car window lashing you in the face, but that sensation of suffocation from the amount of air charging at you has disappeared.
I’m absolutely gagging for a doctors appointment. I cannot possibly wait any longer. Three days of not being able to switch off the constant panic of “what the hell is going on with my chest/lungs/heart/throat or whatever the hell it is”, is driving me insane. I’m not being funny, but I would quite like to breathe. I felt fatigued just from walking to the toilet and needed to rest to only briefly recover. Two weeks from the first sign of problems, it is happening again. Right now. And this time I’m getting the horrific chest pains.
So as I sit in my sorry seat, waiting to see a doctor (I rescheduled my appointment in the space of drafting this, as I’ve been feeling more increasingly like Darth Vader as the days have gone by!) I have the positive thought flowing through me that there can’t be anything serious wrong with me. Though these heavy smokers that have just walked in the waiting area don’t seem to be filling this air with much oxygen for me. At least I can smell that!”
This post was written on the day that I first went to the doctors to have my anxiety and panic disorder diagnosed. Reading back at this really spooked me! To think I had absolutely no idea at this point! But I do feel like it explains a lot about exactly how panic disorder first felt and seemed to me. It can be a really strange feeling, especially when you have no idea what’s going on! So here is a post to just say, listen to your body!
The sensation comes across in an absolute whirl and you don’t really realise what’s going on. And as previously mentioned, getting the diagnosis can take a horrible (and unhelpful!) amount of time, depending on where you go and who you see. But, have you ever felt like this? What kind of things go through your mind? How does your body feel on the brink of a panic attack?
Nowadays, the way I control my breathing is very basic, and fit for those that sometimes feel like there just isn’t enough time in the world to do everything!
My Bits on Breathing Control:
- Count your fingers, (see anxiety tips and tricks page) give your body something else to concentrate on.
- If you’re out and about, see if it’s possible to go to a quieter spot and practise basic breathing techniques such as timed inhale exhale (Honest Guys on YouTube/Calm App/Or simply build up a rhythm with a song!)
- If you’re in the house and you have a little more time and space, I personally like to make a big event out of it, pop on my little oil diffuser with some lavender or sandalwood, stick on Spotify’s Indian Chill/Focus Now/or shuffle play all of Erykah Badu’s albums and count to 10 (a mechanism learnt through HeadSpace!) you count to 10, inhale on number 1, exhale on number 2, and so forth.
How do you control fluttering breaths to calm your body at the brink of an attack?