Ok, so I do have friends. I mean I live with a bunch of people in my uni house, but I have always been incredibly lonely on my course. As some of you know, I sat on my own throughout the majority of my first year in English because I was just scared to confront people.
People had already made their friends at university a few weeks in. I guess I just felt I was intruding if I just introduced myself to people. I was scared and unsure on how to be, wondering if something about me would put people off since I hadn’t already made friends. Friends came and went, I’d meet someone one day and they wouldn’t remember me the next. I felt lonely, I thought it was maybe that people just didn’t like me and my anxiety fueled the thought. But it was actually my anxiety making such assumptions, and this girl proves that, since she shows I’m not entirely unapproachable, and very much not alone!
Now, I’ll make a pseudonym for her. Because she loves Disney just as much as I do, and I know this is her favourite Disney princess, I’ll call her Rapunzel. Rapunzel and I met by chance in the middle of a workshop where every week we would have to group up and work on an open test. This meant making friends and socialising, to that I was terrified of. More so that they would think I was weird and not like me. Rapunzel happened to sit next to me and she asked if she could, of course, I said yes.
Rapunzel then said the thing that I was dying to say in my mind. “I don’t really have many friends in English, so this is a first for me!” and by Jove, we already had something in common. A fear and anxiety of people. Not that that’s a good thing, but Rapunzel made me feel less alone. She made me feel normal, and above all accepted.
As we worked through the test we managed to introduce ourselves to each other at the same time and things went off to a good start. From that day, we exchanged Facebooks so that we were able to contact each other and sit next to each other on the next weeks test. I left the building with glee. I’d officially made a friend. Little did I know we actually had more than just a fear of socialising in common.
As the weeks went by it became obvious that my friendship with Rapunzel blossomed. I’d not only found a friend in the English department willing to stick with me and like me for who I was, but I’d found a friend who has very similar interests and life happenings. We can relate a lot, and I feel that’s incredibly important in a friendship.
It turns out, she loves Disney, especially Tangled. To which I discovered by being nosy at her phone backdrop and seeing a gorgeous picture of Rapunzel and the ‘floating lights’. I couldn’t believe my luck! Not only had I found someone willing to put up with my ridiculously difficult personality and bizarre interests, but someone who loves Disney! Match made in heaven.
The module was coming to a close and I was worried that the friendship would just fizzle. Maybe it was a temporary friendship that wasn’t due to last. I soon discovered she was taking the exact same module as me the following semester in English. Not just any module, but a rather peculiar one, highlighting again just how much we had in common. We get to study the likes of Sherlock Holmes, graphic novels, The Hunger Games and other super-awesome-kinda-nerdy literature. Again, something rather peculiar not many people I’ve met found to be of any interest. Rapunzel did.
Since then, we have not only kept in contact, but we see each other on a weekly basis, talk to each other most days and have even started having snack filled movie nights.
Obviously, back in September was the start of a beautiful friendship. Now, I’m in the midst of a friendship that I’m certain will last a lifetime. I’ve only ever found this sort of comfort before with a small number of people, but to finally have made a friend in the English department at my uni whom happens to have the majority of things in common with me – let’s just say, I feel like a very lucky person indeed.
I can’t thank Rapunzel enough for coming into my life. It was obviously some sort of destiny that we should happen to cross paths, and for that I’m unbelievably thankful. She was a stranger that happened to be just like me.
Also, she blogs under Athena! Check out her blog here! 🙂