Living with anxiety is confusing. It can be expressed in so many different forms and ways, sometimes it lasts only within a moment. Sometimes it’s everlasting. Sometimes it’s frequent, but you can’t distinguish the times of anxiety between what real normal worry should feel like.
I’m unable to sleep. Which happens sometimes. It could be that I haven’t rested properly, my sleep pattern seems to have become terrible. It’s also because I’m worried. I have things on my mind, and when I do it keeps me awake.
But when one suffers with anxiety and can’t distinguish these worries, the effects just seem to feel tripled. I can’t count on my fingers how many times I have lay awake at night over worry. When one suffers with anxiety, it becomes a habit. It becomes a regular thing. They may be big or small worries, but the size doesn’t depict the size of the outcome. At least in my experience. I’ve had a worry full day, even over small things that shouldn’t even bother my mind at all. And yet here I am. Awake at half past midnight, ruining my sleep pattern, not eating when I probably should.
Worries are never just simply over the matter itself. It’s over the unknown. What are the consequences? What is going to happen?? How long is this going to happen for? When will I know? What will they say? What can I do to fix this? What do they think about it? What have I done? Thoughts and thoughts bombard my mind in these moments, and that’s whats happening now.
We fear consequences, we worry this much because we are obsessed with the outcome and how other people will be affected as well as ourselves. This is why I can’t sleep.
I wonder, is anyone else out there awake now over worry? Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is a new day. Life goes on.