In more recent weeks, I’ve took it upon myself to cross off more things on my big list. In overcoming my anxiety and panic attacks, I’ve made it my task to try and get better following the new year and to stop living in a big depressing hole. I just figured one day, if I’m going to be here, I don’t want to be here and be miserable, so lets try and make being here better!
Among my big list to help control my panic attacks was to start swimming and frequent exercise, keep up a happy journal, stay organised and other bits. But my recent feat has been meditation.
I started meditating a week or so ago, using an app called Headspace which is also available online.
I sampled out the beginning session, and I have to say, it was such an odd feeling. I rarely ever find time to myself, or to just chill and do nothing. It just isn’t a thing in my life. I’m constantly battling work, making dinner, doing things. I have a day to day list and it seems I’m always busy. Meditating is incredible, and I seriously should have started it sooner.
For ten minutes, you have to listen to this mans voice (which may sound really patronising and frustrating, but he is only there to help and he is actually super soft with words which is good! I find his voice quite soothing!) You have to go through various exercises. Some you close your eyes and try scanning the feelings of your body from head to toe, or you listen out for sounds. The whole process of what you can do with your mind in ten minutes is incredible, because seriously, I feel so much clearer after I’ve meditated. There are some cute animations with the app, it’s easy to use (and adorable!) – it really makes you feel calm from the second you open the app. There is just something about it. As the name suggests, it’s all about giving yourself some more head space. Everything they do is all very scientific too! Read here.
It sends this weird sensation through your body, like, it feels like you’ve been asleep for a long time but got up nice and early enough for a good hearty breakfast. You feel incredibly refreshed afterwards, and I love that. My mind does feel so much more…floaty? It’s difficult to describe!
Anyway, because I only have 10 free sessions with the app, because you have to pay, I’ve been using it sparingly. Yesterday I put it to the true test. Will it or will it not calm down a panic attack?
I’ve been quiet recently due to having coursework to hand in this week (and when something needs to be done, I don’t stop until it’s done, and done well.) I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I don’t have working controlled very well at all. Naturally, the past couple days I’ve noticed my anxiety attacks have been a lot worse than usual. Recently, I’ve got used to them and they have been extremely minimal to the point where I haven’t needed a tablet now for nearly three weeks (YAY!) however, I felt like yesterday I was a little desperate. So, I decided to meditate instead of take the medication. I was close to taking it, but I thought I would give it a go.
So I opened up my second session, meditated for 10 minutes using Headspace, and boom. My panic attack was pretty much completely tamed. I’ve still found one trying to creep back, but I can cope and forget about it. It isn’t one that’s going to have me huffing and puffing all day and wanting to hide away because I feel like I’m going to explode. Which is a plus!
So, I decided against the medication to keep up my streak. Although my medication has helped me in the past, I feel taking it now when being without it for so long may cause me to feel quite drousy as it’s been a while. But I’ll let you know if and when I cave in. For now, I’m enjoying meditating, especially through this app. Might actually purchase it for good after the 10 sessions if they prove to continue this lovely feeling! It certainly makes me feel a lot better knowing I can turn to something else that isn’t medication, and since I have it as an app that’s even better for if I’m desperately needing to calm down somewhere other than home. Although it’s probably best in my bedroom environment, I feel like I’m protected wherever I go.
Does anyone out there know any other good sources for meditation? 🙂 I’d love to know! Please comment!
Find your inner peace,