Although I wanted to originally start my story from the age of 10, my English teacher at A-Level told me that the best way to start any story would be from the middle. Technically, that’s age 10. But the stories to follow this little series on Holding A Grudge, branch out to people throughout my teenage life. You see, it all started with the wonderful ‘All I Know Now’ a book by Carrie Hope Fletcher.
Carrie has been an inspiration to me, because she has reflected the purpose of my much adored Being A Girl, By Kim Cattrall. I didn’t discover her long ago, and the turn of my blog happened before I even came across her. Although she was a lovely surprise to discover along the way, that thoroughly made me realise I wasn’t alone in wanting to talk about my experiences in the hope of showing others that we all go through very similar experiences, everything is going to be ok, and nobody should be scared of those memories, thoughts or feelings. She has kept me entertained with her lovely heart warming videos, and left me with the feeling that I can watch her through my laptop still feeling as though I wasn’t just watching someone who does this all for show. She is genuine, and she is genuinely lovely. I’ve learnt a lot from All I Know Now already, including the topic I’m about to delve into. But importantly, I realised not all experiences are the same in life. There are things I’ll end up discussing that she hasn’t, which only means life has further experiences to delve into. It makes me wonder and wish – everyone told their stories. Just in case, you haven’t quite found someone who has gone through the same or has found hindsight in what they experienced which happens to be a situation like your own. She discusses many scenarios in which I can relate, and I only wish that my scenarios which spiral from this topic are ones in which others can relate to too. So, the posts linking with this will be in dedication to Carrie, an inspiration to all (including me! so thank you!) 🙂 If you haven’t bought her book yet, I would highly recommend it. I’m loving it, and reminds me of what Being A Girl was to me in my teenage – a guide to life. Everyone has a different story and a bunch of different experiences – so both are worth the read! 🙂
So, what is it I’m going to be discussing? Grudges. I came across the page in Carries book where you have to sign underneath some text which says…
“I solemnly promise to understand that the people I choose to look up to are first and foremost human beings who will make mistakes on occasion. I promise to think for myself and evaluate said mistakes and either forgive and forget, or move on quietly.”
It made me wonder. It’s not necessarily just people we look up to. It’s those around us. For my whole life to avoid disappointment, I have a rule. It’s called no second chances. Something which granted is harsh, but has saved me some extra heartache. But then that paragraph made me realise. That that means I never forgive neither forget. But does it even necessarily mean I move on quietly?
I hold grudges. I have reasons for them, but are they worth keeping? Am I really moving on quietly with my life, if I have a string of grudges lined up in life for people who have made mistakes and have forgotten that they were merely human beings? And although some of the people did some bad not very nice things, I’m sure I probably have to. But holding my grudge, as Carrie says, shows much more about me than it does them. So, let me take you into my past, and show you my grudges through a series of anonymous letters. Because going through them myself really has taught me a lot about myself. Hopefully, some of the situations brought up may mirror your own. Even I find it hard to understand and remember, we are all, merely, human.
I hope you enjoy what is yet to come,