So it’s been a hell of a while since I posted here. Hi y’all! Hope you’re all doing well, and I hope you’re not reading this with need of help. Because if you are, I’m so sorry for how you’re feeling and I’ll do my best! As some of you know, I’m on my year abroad. I came last week and I’ve been doing so much that I haven’t been able to take too many pictures or film. Which is a giant shame! But I promise, in the coming weeks, I will!
What I wanted to say on a whim, was to discuss anxiety and going abroad. I’ve been incredibly anxious since moving away and there have been so many confusing feelings I thought would benefit being spoken about on this blog, so here we go!
First off, I actually felt extremely emotionally numb before coming on this trip. I wasn’t feeling too sad nor too upset, or worried. Which was strange. I did at some points feel some nerves or some emotions but the bulk of the time I felt nothing. Which was something very foreign to me. Normally I’m an emotional wreck constantly, however not in the run up to the year abroad. Sure I cried, a tonne, but yeah. It was strange to feel nothing, but a lot of people told me this was a very normal thing which is fine.
Then I noticed my breathing was becoming quite shallow in the mornings, not into full blown panic attacks, but it was quite shallow. But having friends who I’d told in advance about my anxiety and panic attacks helped a lot. They have been my rocks the past couple days. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. They understand that I need distraction, and that really helps. So, if you’re bound to feel a bit nervous and stuff, tell someone around you! Don’t be scared nor shy, they will understand and will become your help in hand when things get a bit too much.
My anxiety however has also made me feel quite isolated. There is a language barrier, which never helps, but at the same time, you’re away from usual friends making new ones, in another language. Which isn’t the easiest thing to do at all! This makes me feel so nervous about new people and anxious on whether I’ll make any friends at all, but at the same time, isolated. I feel out of a loop that is yet to be established and that doesn’t sit comfortably with me. I have been included in things a couple times but I haven’t felt stable yet, so the isolation is becoming an annoyance. At the same time though, hopefully, it won’t last long.
But, I feel like all these things are natural for a year abroad. I think this is something a lot of people must feel when coming abroad to a foreign country, especially if you’re pretty much going solo. It’s a scary life step as it is, and to be able to power on through is an achievement in itself, let alone going through it with anxiety. So if you’re feeling these feelings I’m feeling, I’ll let you know in the next week or so how they have been getting on. Hopefully, they will be gone. Keep the faith, and keep smiling, it’s only week one.